Robby's Life Without Jack

From FNP #56.

This takes place in present day but... i dunno, maybe like a day in the future (the not too distant future at all). It starts off, and Jack is going to communications class and he sees robby, and jack is like "HEY RAWWWWBY" and robby's like.. "hey jaaack". At this point, we're 4 days into the week and Jack has just been tormenting robby with memes, it's gotten pretty bad, worse than it's ever been. and then kenzie comes up and says "Hey guys! It's my birthday!" And then in unison, jack and robby say "Happy birthday keeenzie". Then kenzie says "Hey, I got a party on saturday, you wanna come?" and then robby and jack say "surree kenzie". Then they go into communications and Jack says "hey robby, h-hey robby...", and robby's like "ahh what is it jaack". Jack says "look at my phone" and it's a bunch of pictures of robby on his way into class that he didn't see him doing. Robby says "ahh I'm gettin a little sick of it jack" in an annoyed tone. Then jack's like "No no no it's good it's good". Class goes on for another 30 minutes and Jack says "h-hey robby, take a look at this" and it's just more pictures of robby. He's like "this is one of your upper chin, this is one of your forehead, this is your mugshot". Then robby says "jack... gettin REALLY SICK OF THIS...." to which jack responds "no robby, just wait, it's gonna get good". and then the end of the day during film club, jack's like "hey robby, follow me". Robby like "ahhhhh". Jack takes robby to i dunno like the newest gym area and says "observe". He takes out a remote, clicks the remote, and a giant banner comes down showing a giant really big really embarrassing picture where he's nearly naked. Robby's like "HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THIAT PICTURE". Jack says "well you see robby, I- I may of peaked into your room last night, I got a little picture of you" and robbys like "You know what jack, I'VE HAD IT. THIS IS IT. THE MEMES HAVE GONE WAYY TOO FARR. Y'KNOW, I'M SICK OF YOU.. I WISH- I WISH YOU WERE NORMAL! I WISH YOU NEVER EVER GOT INTO MEMES, I WISH YOU WERE A NORMAL NORMIE. I WISH YOU WERE A NORMIE JACK! I WISH YOU WERE A NORMIE!". And then, robby goes home, and all of a sudden.. this like big shining light appears. and theres this guy.. named mike. Robby says "woah where'd you come from?" in a thug like fashion. Mike says "Hey I'm mike! I'm your fairy god mike! and I'm about to make your wish come true!" Robby's like "what wish??? I didn't wish for anything..." and then... POOF!!! Mike goes away and robby's like "what was that??" but then he just goes to bed and wipes it off. Robby wakes up in the morning, gets up, goes downstairs to get some poptarts that he never eats. and he goes to school. He's about to go to communications, and when he goes in he says “hey everyone! where’s jack?” and aidan says “who?”. Robby then says “Jack jack jack you know jack right? He’s been here like everyday, he likes memes, he’s a meme god” and aidan then like “I know of NO SUCH JACK… WHOS JACK”. Robby shrugs and says “I guess- i guess I’m going crazy whatever….”. Robby once again wipes it off and goes on with his day. It gets to fourth period and Robby sees andy going to school. Robby shouts “IT’S YA BOI ANDY!!” Andy, confused, shouts “What the fuck? GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!” And then you just andy and he’s like “IT’S YA BOI.. IT’S YA BOI BOBBY!!” Then you see it’s just some random kid named Bobby. Robby’s like “OK… PAUSE THE LIFE”. Then all of a sudden mike appears and says “what… I made your wish come true…”. Robby frusturatingly says “WHAT WISH” and fairy god mike says “Your wish to make Jack normal!” It affect your ENTIRE LIFE! Jack went to communication because he thought it was too weird. He never became friends with robby because he thought he was too weird! And uh.. uh lets see… and you met andy in- in film club… but you never WENT to film club… because you were too afraid. You didn’t have a companion to go with! Your whole life has changed! Your wish has come true Robby!” Then in desperation robby says “Well.. how do I get back you must change it back!! I-I didn’t want it to be like this!!!” And mike says “I can’t I have to earn my wings to get you back!!” and Robby says “I DONT BELIEVE YOU MIKE. I DONT BELIEVE YOU!!". He goes to lunch and he’s like “JAAACK!! JAACK!!” He finds Jack and he’s like “JACK… HEY” Then jack says “uh… Robert?” Robby says “Jack it’s me! RAWWBY. RAWBY WITH AN AW. YOU LOVE MEMES JACK… JECK” Jack then says “Why are you saying my name with an E syllable? My name is JACK”. And then uh… lets see.. Jack says “you interrupted me looking at my memes”. Robby looks at the meme and it’s a norm meme with impact font and a troll face. Jack says “CLASSIC MEME!!” Robby freaks out and says “WHAT HAPPENED?????” Everyone in the cafeteria turns in unison and you hear andy say “ITS THE FREAK”. Robby then shouts “AHHHHHH  AHHHAHAHHHH”. Robby runs out of the room crying. Robby then says “Maybe.. maybe Jacks just sick. I’m gonna go to his house, and we’re gonna do the podcast” Robby goes to the house, rings the doorbell, and Jack’s like “robert? how do you know where I live?” and robby’s like “Jack… it’s ME. ROBBY. RAWBY. WE DO A PODCAST EVERY FRIDAY. ALMOST EVERY FRIDAY! WE RE-DEFINE THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL. WERE ON THE 57TH EPISODE. WAIT WAIT LEMME PULL UP MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL. He finds what he’s looking for and says “Wait… don’t stop me now music video…” but he doesn’t see “w/0816Egg in parenthesis” Robby says “WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU” Jack then slams the door shut and says “FREAK!”. Robby starts pounding on the window saying “JAACK. IM SORRY”. Robby then gets a ladder and climbs the window and sees Jack. He says “…jack”. Jack’s sitting there looking through his norm memes. Robby breaks into the window and says “JACK. IT’S ME”. Jack then says “You need to check into a mental institution… YOU FREAK!”. Jack pushes robby off the window and robby falls to the ground. He starts walking home and he goes back home while “since you’ve been gone” is being played on a piano. Robby finally gets home and his mom’s like “what were you doing? you’re always home on fridays!” Robby says “oh well you see I was gonna go to the po- dca… never mind….”. Robby gets this email. It’s like a mass email to everyone in the county and it’s like “Kenzie’s birthday party tomorrow!”. Robby’s like “I bet jacks gonna go to that… ANDY TOO..’. And robby goes to the party. He goes there and there’s like music playing it’s really loud everyone’s jumping up and down. He finds kenzie and robby’s like “Hey kenzie!” Kenzie says “who… who are you…. OH YEAH YEAH YEAH you’re bobby!”. Robby says “no no no. I’m RAWWBY!”. And then robby finds andy and is like “ok… I know you don’t know who I am. But i do. You’re andy!” Andy’s like “YEAH… ANDY WHO? THERE’S LIKE A BILLION ANDYS IN THE WORLD.” Robby says “You’re andy schmitt, you have 3 NIPPLES… YOU- YOU HAVE THREE NIPPLES”. In shock, andy says “whah…. what the FUCK… YOU FREAK!!”. Robby says “You love to dab!” and andy says “I DO love to dab!” Andy starts dabbing rapidly. He then says “… WAIT… Bobby how do you know who I am??” Robby responds “A. It’s ROBBY… and B. I accidentally wished my life away, and now i’m stuck in this parallel universe of nothingness…” Andy's like “This is insane but… I think I believe you... What are we gonna do?”. Robby responds “OK, we had a friend, his name is JACK”. Andy says “Jack? That normie kid??? and Robby says “Yeah… Jack Nelson.. the normie th- the normie...- I- I can’t believe he’s a normie…. we have to convince him and then we have to figure a way to GET BACK!”. And they find jack. They find Jack, and he’s socializing with everyone. You just see Jack and he says “Hello! My name is John, but you can call me jack.” The kid he’s talking to says “Nice to meet you Jack, my name is aidan”. Then robby expresses shock from afar. The robby’s like “JACK.YOU KNOW AIDAN!”. Then jack’s like “AHH THIS GUY AGAIN, GET YOURSELF INTO A MENTAL INSTITUTION! YOU FREAK!” and robby’s like “wait a minute I can just show him my phone! I have a bunch of… photos” He get’s out his phone… and he can’t find anything… He’s like “JACK”. at this point he grabs Jack by the shoulders and says “JACK.. IT’S ME.. RAWWBY.. WE’VE BEEN THE BEST OF FRIENDS SINCE 6TH GRADE…. DONT STOP ME NOW… THE STAR WARS PREQUELS ARE SECRETLY BRILLIANT. 2/3RDS OF A BABY!!… JACK I JUST… I WANT MY LIFE BACK. I LIKE YOUR MEMES, I THINK THEY’RE OK. I APPRECIATE THE BIG BANNER ON THE SCHOOL, I THOUGHT IT WAS CREATIVE, I’M OK WITH EVERYONE SEEING ME NAKED, I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK!! I’M OK WITH THE SELFIES EVERYDAY, IM OK WITH THE CONSTANT TORTURE!… THAT WAS MY LIFE… AND IT WAS TAKEN AWAY….” Robby starts crying in intense sadness. After a few seconds, Jack says “… don’t cry bobby…” Robby calmly says “it’s robby”. and then, a big white shock of white light appears. PPOOOOOOOOO. and it just cuts and you just see me and I’m like “hey- h-hey robby” and Robby’s like “Jack- j-jeck?” and Jack responds “yeah robby.. RAWBY!” as he puts his phone in front of robby’s face. Then robby says “JJAAAAAAAACKK”. They embrace in a hug and Jack’s like “see that Andy? Robby loves me more!” and Andy says “UGH dammit you’re right…" and then he dabs.

At this point, the story is cut off by a streaming glitch, but basically everything goes back to normal and robby learns to appreciate the memes.