Robby's Future Life Story

Prequel:

This story takes place in the future. This story takes place in 2027. Donald had just left the office. So it’s 8 years in the future and Robby’s life is turning up. Not in like the turn uuup but its turning up in quality. Robby saw Aloha 2 and he was like “Wow, that was a good movie! Emma Stone!” Robby then wondered what Emma Stone’s address was and he got on his computer. Emma Stone’s address was the first result. “All right, I’m going to Emma Stone’s because that girl is hot!” Robby goes up to the door and he repeatedly knocks on the door. Emma Stone opens the door. Robby does something from the Incredibles. Emma Stone looks at him. “Uh, hello,” she says. “Hey, it’s me, Emma Stone. Star of the hit film Aloha 2!” she says enthusiastically. Robby then realizes in his head “WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS AN EMMA STONE ROBOT!” Robby touches her arm and the robot glitches and then Robby rips through the robot and get inside the house. He then starts yelling “ALL RIGHT WHERES THE REAL EMMA STONE?! EMMA! EMMAAA! EMMA STONE WHERE ARE YOU? I WONT HAVE WITH THIS ROBOT NONSENSE!” Emma Stone then appears and says “What are you doing in my house?” Robby stares into her eyes and in a deep voice says “Hey baby.” That is how they met. They went on a few dates and they hit it off right out of the ballpark. They ran all the bases and they were having a ball and having a great life. Robby’s life was no longer predictable. He moved in with Emma Stone. They were frolicking through the flowers one day with their first child. The cow animals from Naboo(Shaaks) were there too and they were riding around on those. Emma Stone all of a sudden looks at Robby and says “Honey, Robby, I wanna have *burp* 5 kids.” That’s when Robby realizes that Emma Stone has excessive burp disorder but he’s like “You know what? I love you anyways.” And they hug. “That’s wonderful, honey,” Robby said. Then he says “Honey, I wanna go check on the dog in the basement.” Emma Stone says “When am I going to be able to see our dog? I’ve never seen it ever since we’ve started dating.” Robby says “You will soon, honey.” Robby goes inside and unlocks the door. An ominous mood descends over the story. *spooky noises* Robby walks down the stairs. Sounds of someone struggling and muffled yelling come from the darkness in the basement. “SHUT UP!” Robby yells and kicks the person making the noise. He then whacks him in the head for good measure and shoots a shotgun in the air. “AYHHH, LET ME GO PLEEASE!” the hostage pleads. “No! We’re gonna do this again and we’re not gonna stop until you get it right!” Robby says. Robby unchains the prisoner and lead him over to a table above which there is one light. He sits there and says “All right, we’re gonna do some word play, ok. So, how’s it going, Jack?” In a broken shaky voice Jack responds “Uh, it’s been, it’s been ok, Robby.” “That’s good. I’d say I had a pretty brilliant day,” Robby says and looks over at Jack. Jack is struggling so badly at this point. He’s sweating and making strangled noises and trying as hard as he can not to say what he knows he must say. Robby gives him a smug menacing look. Jack cannot hold it back anymore. “SECRETLY BRILLIANT!!!” Jack finally screams. “AHA! GET BACK IN THE CORNER! WE’LL TRY THIS AGAIN TOMORROW!” Robby commands Jack. Robby whips him until he retreats back to the corner. He goes upstairs and yells “Emma? Emma? Where are you?” “I’m in the kitchen,” Emma manages to burp the words out. “Ok, honey” Robby responds. Four years go by. Emma Stone doesn’t age. Robby goes back downstairs and in a darkly calm voice says “We’re gonna try this again, Jack.” Robby pauses and then continues to speak. “You know, today I was out with Emma Stone we were out in the park we were holding hands we were just having such a good time.” Jack stares directly ahead, emotionless. “I was havin such. a. good. time.” Robby says and emphasizes each word. Jack sort of nods, still emotionless. “Good, gooooood” Robby says. After a bit of fine tuning for another week, Robby finally says “Jack, I think you’re ready. I think you’re ready to be released into the wild. The Star Wars prequels are…” Robby trails off in one final test. “They’re good.” Jack responds. “That’s right. They are good. That’s what I wanna hear. Now you’re speaking my language. What do you think of the clone wars?” Robby inquires. “It’s a really good show” Jack responds still with no emotion. And then Robby helps Jack get a new house since Jack has nothing because Robby kept him captive since high school. “How about this house, Jack?” Robby asks. Jack then gets that house. “Farewell my friend, have a nice life,” Robby says. He closes the door to Jack’s new home. “YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!” Robby screams as loud as he can. The song We Are The Champions starts playing. Robby starts jumping up and down and yelling “MY LIFE IS BACK! I’VE RECONDITIONED HIM TO BE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING!” Robby gets back to his life and goes up to Emma Stone and says “Hey, my darlin’” Robby starts wooing Emma. They have three kids at this point. They’re just having fun in the fields again. Robby and Emma are holding their kids in the air and having glorious times. All of a sudden Robby hears someone quietly say “Uh, Robby?” Robby looks over and sees Jack. “Jack?! How do you know where I live?!” Robby asks in a bit of a panic. “I’ve been locked in your basement for 8 years,” Jack responded. “Oh, yeah” Robby remembers. Jack’s like “What do I do? How do I live?” “Well, how about we start with you getting a job.” Robby says. “Well, what should I get a job at?” Jack wonders. “How about we get you a job at the Trump Jr. campaign?” Robby offers. They go there and start talking to Trump Jr.’s executive campaign manager. The manager starts asking some questions. “So what makes you so fit for this job? Because at this campaign we do not stop. We never stop and we never have a good time. We never stop campaigning and we’re always on the run.” Jack starts making strangled sputtering noises. “It’s ok, Jack! It’s ok! Don’t break! Don’t break! Just ignore what he said and just say I am fit for this campaign” Robby says. Jack tries to maintain control and says “I am having- I mean I am very fit for this campaign.” Robby’s like “And then say you admire Donald Trump very much and you made many memes about Donald Trump in high school.” “I made many high schools about Trump I made many memes-“ Jack tries to say before Robby hits him and yells “NO, JACK! YOU SAID THAT WRONG!” Jack starts crying a little and says “I’m sorry ok! I’m not good at this!” The campaign manager’s like “You know what, you have pretty high energy I think you can have a job.” Jack gets a job and then after a few months Jack has made a living. Robby’s like “Good job Jack, you got food in the house, you have a house, you got a computer. All right, see ya, Jack.” Robby closes the door and yells “YES! FREE! AT LAST!” He goes to his family once again and he’s frolicking in the flowers but then all of a sudden he hears in his left ear “Robby? I’m lonely.” Robby’s like “AAAGGGGGHHHH! Emma, will you pardon me?” “Yes” she burped. “Bless you” Robby responded. Robby says “Well, Jack I guess we’re gonna have to get you a girlfriend.” “A girlfriend?” Jack questioned. “Yes, a girlfriend” Robby said. They start walking along the street. “But how do I get a girlfriend?” Jack asked. “Uhh, hey you there on the street!” Robby exclaims at a random chick. “Who? Me?” she asks. “Yeah, you sittin there all smilin and whatnot! Come over here! What do you think about this fine gentleman?” Robby asks her. Jack starts making more strangled noises. She looks at him and it’s love at first sight. Dramatic music starts playing. In the background the song They Were The Best of Friends with the word friends replaced with the word couples and at the same time Accidentally In Love starts playing. Robby’s like “All right, you guys make a fine couple but you gotta go on a date first.” They go to Chilis and they go to the front desk and they see Andy working there. “Oh, hey guys- RAWBYYY! RAWBY! JACK! WHATS WRONG WITH JACK? WHOS THAT GIRL NEXT TO HIM?” Andy yells. “Hey Andy, can you get a table for Jack and Beverly?” They go to a table and are seated. Andy sets the table with menus and everything and say “Enjoy your meal, fam!” Jack’s like “So, tell me about yourself, Bev.” “Uh, well, let’s see. I have really long life. Very interesting long hard life. Where do I start? Well, I should start that I when I was born I was born premature. I was born 3 months before I should have been.” Jack’s like “Three months… So that’s…” Jack suddenly realizes what that is. He starts making more weird noises. Inside Jack’s head, all he can hear is someone singing “Toniiight, I’m gonna have myseeeeellllf a reeeeal gooood tiiiime.” Robby sees what’s happening from outside the window and he start yelling “NO NO NO!” Jack starts rambling out loud to himself “Don’t stop me now, secretly brilliant, 2/3rds of a baby! RAWBYYYY!” Bev is just like “Uh, Jack?” Robby is still outside the window and he’s like “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” All of a sudden Jack gets a little out of control. He starts massacring everyone but he doesn’t kill Andy. And then Andy’s like “Wait a minute, Robby memes… ROBBY MEMES! I REMEMBER NOW!” Robby’s like “NOOOO!” Jack and Andy both start killing people in the restaurant. They’re like “NORMIES, GET OUT! NORMIES, DIE!” Then the cops get there and they’re like “You’re under arrest, Jack and Andy.” They get arrested and they’re in interrogation and someone is analyzing their blood and one of the lab people says “This is meme blood, they gotta be sent to the meme jail.” They both end up in the meme jail and finally, Robby gets to live happily ever after.

Original:

So its like 30 years in the future we'll say and Robby is livin' life. He's livin' like Larry. He's living really well. He's got a wife. He's got kids. So Robby is married to Emma Stone and they're living a happy life on the prairie. And Robby has 5 kids. Their names are Marcus, Saoirse, Qui Gon, Koba, and Tom. He’s living a really good life and he doesn’t know how it can get any better. So one night Robby is having hardcore unprotected sex with Emma Stone. Emma's response afterwards is "woah... that was really good". They go to bed and Robby hears a phone ring and Emma Stone picks up the phone and she’s like “Hello?...What?...What does that mean?...Ok…I gotta go…” She puts down the phone and she slides over to Robby and she’s like “Honey…What does “Don’t Stop Me Now” mean?” Robby is looking in the opposite direction and he’s like “you weren’t supposed to know” So immediately Robby gets out of bed and he puts on some clothes. He drives away and he goes to this jail. This particular jail is for those who use meme irresponsibly. He goes in and he goes to see Jack. He goes to Jack’s cell and he goes up to the bars, he puts his face in between the bars and he’s like “How did she find out?” And Jack’s like “I have my ways” Robby yells “I BURIED THIS HATCHET A LONG TIME AGO! These memes weren’t supposed to spread!” And then Jack says “That’s not on my watch” Robby’s like “How did you do it?” And Jack says “Check Andy’s cell.” And Robby goes over to Andy’s cell and both bars are broken. There’s a sign that is conveniently by the cell and it says Wanted Dead Or Alive Andy Schmitt Meme Criminal. And Robby’s like ‘NO..NO!” And Jack’s like “I got him to break out! And I made him phone call Emma Stone and say as many Robby memes as possible!” So Robby leaves and Jack is just like screaming he’s like “DON’T STOP ME NOW!” Robby gets out and he puts on his rollerblades. Robby is trying to find how to get to Andy. Cuz Andy’s wanted and he must be living somewhere. And so Robby goes to the one place. Robby goes to youtube and he goes to The Prequels Are Secretly Brilliant. And he’s like “I thought I would never see this video ever again.” He goes to the comment section and he just sees andyproductions1 commenting a bunch of prequel memes. And Robby’s like “THAT’s the name of his youtube channel!” And he clicks on the account and he sees Andy’s latest video. He’s sitting in a car and he’s like “What a beautiful day. I have just broken out of prison and I’m ready to do what must be done.” And you see him pick up his phone and he’s like “This is Emma Stone’s phone number” He gets on and you just hear “Hello?” And he says “THE STAR WARS PREQUELS ARE SECRETLY BRILLIANT! DON’T STOP ME NOW! I’M DRUNK! 2/3S OF A BABY!” As Andy is doing the prank call he gets out of the car and he’s walking into South Forsyth High School. And he walks into a classroom. And then he hangs up after like 50 memes and he’s like “The deed has been done.” And Robby’s like “WAIT PAUSE THE VIDEO!” He sees in the background one of those Dell computers and Ms. Holland. Robby’s like “HE’S CAMPING OUT IN THE GRAPHIC ARTS CLASSROOM!” In the background at the end of the video you hear “Andy, you gotta finish that typography project!” So Robby drives to South Forsyth and he goes to the graphic arts classroom. And he’s like “ANDY!” Andy’s like “WOAH, I’m just finishing my typography project.” And then Robby stabs him.