This story started out as a round of Who Would Win In A Fight but rapidly turned into a convoluted story involving time paradoxes and possibly genocide. At the beginning, the location was set to be the Carboard 2 Fight field and the character involved were supposed to be Kenzie the Pig, Liberty Prime, The I'm Gonna Fight ISIS Woman, and Lexana The Basic White Girl. This didn't quite go as planned as you can see.
What happens is all of our characters individually find a time machine. By ourselves. Like not together. We each find our own time machine. And we travel back- we just so happen to travel back to the exact same spot where Jack and Andy were fighting the paladins during cardboard 2 fight and they happen to be- they like teleport their time machine right in the middle of that fight. Ok, so the ISIS woman looks at the paladins and is like “With your masks you look like ISIS I’m gonna destroy youuuu. I’m gonna bomb youuuuu. I’m gonna kill youuu. All of ISIS.” So. Then what happens is. So Lexana comes in and she has a leash and she has a pig on a leash and she’s like “Heyyy guyyyys! I just got my new pet. It’s a comfort pig!” And then the pig goes “…snort” And then. Liberty Prime looks down and he goes “what the fuck am I doing here?” So he just takes one of him mini-nukes off his back and just throws it on the ground and kills everybody the end. AND THEN. And then what happens is. So. Everyone dies. It changes what happens in Cardboard 2 Fight. So everyone dies. Just randomly in the middle of the fight. Everyone dies in Cardboard 2 Fight. And this is what happens. So like Robby like checks the video one day like later after like uploading it like (this is in the future now). He’s uploaded the video and he’s like “Wait what the hell? Why do they all die in the middle of the fight I don’t remember that.” And Robby starts to investigate. He’s like “What the heck. What happened.” So he starts to become like Sherlock Holmes. He goes to the site where it happened and it’s like this big explosion. And he’s like um… and uh… qiperbgpi… WAIT WAIT WAIT BACK UP BACK UP I HAVE THIS IDEA OK NO BACK UP BACK UP I MESSED UP I MESSED UP BACKING UP BACKING UP OK SO HERES WHAT HAPPENS So Robby check’s the video and he sees that he dies in the video. So then what happens is that Robbys starting to fade away. Slowly. Cuz he died in Cardboard 2 Fight. What happens is hes fading away kinda like in Back to the Future you know. So hes like fading away slowly but just slowly enough to where like he could fix this and like change reality. Cuz like. He dies. He died while acting in the movie. So. What happens is like he’s kinda like fading away so he’s like “I have to figure this out quickly and stop myself from fading away!” So he he goes to like the site where it happened and he sees a giant explosion and he sees he sees like their body parts there. And he’s like “Oh my God.” And he goes to the nearest house and he’s like.. he goes up to the door and he’s like he knocks on the door and they open the door and they’re like “…Robby Sykes?” And he’s like “yeah I’m Robby Sykes what..what of it?” And they’re like “We thought you were dead. You died in this explosion that happened right over there in the field!” And he’s like.. And he looks down at his hand and it’s fading away. He’s like he’s just like he’s like disappearing and he’s like just slowly realizing his reality. And he’s like he’s like “WHAT. HAPPENED?!?!?” She’s like “Theres confliction accounts. But wait wait wait pause pause the story is your character like a giant robot or something it’s a giant robot aifbsadgpuibdf-I got please can I-sdgbaisgiabfp-hold on-giant ass robot-reigwepirbg-ok ok so what happens is she’s like she’s like “Theres conflicting accounts but they say that a giant robot came down and wiped out this entire fields- Can I please say something?- And then- He starts to think did Iron Giant come?- He’s like yeah ok yeah he’s like….. She’s like “Some people say it was Iron Giant.” He’s like “Oh my God! Iron Giant.” And he starts what he does he’s like “Wh-what other robots do they say they are?” They’re like “Um, they say its- come people think it’s the robot from Pacific Rim Some people think its Gypsy Danger.” And then uh and then uh whats the name?-Liberty Prime So then they’re like “Some people say its Liberty Prime.” So what Robby does is he gets contact of Iron Giant, Liberty Prime, and uh Gypsy Danger. And he’s like he like he like individually talks to them but he doesn’t know how to get to Gypsy Danger. So he contacts Lauren. He’s like “Lauren.. you know all about Pacific Rim. You love Pacific Rim. I need to get in contact with Gypsy Danger.” And Lauren’s like “why is your hand disappearing?” He’s like “It’s a long story but that’s why I need to get in contact with Gypsy Danger!” And so she’s like “Fine I’ll get him on the phone… Gypsy Dangerrr…-That’s not even how it works in Pacific Rim-*SHARP INHALE*-That’s not even how it works-Wait do you have to like be inside the robot-YES-YES-to get it to work?-wait-OHMYGODAHAHA You know where I’m going So Lauren’s like- And it takes two people to pilot a Jaeger-*SHARP INHALE*OK So Lauren and both go and find the robot of Gypsy Danger and they get inside and they start they power it up and in like this universe like when it happens Gypsy Danger like wakes up and she’s like her own robot like its not like you’re controlling it its just like its like a droid or something-THAT GOES AGAINST THE SOURCE MATERIAL!-WHATEVER MAN! And Gypsy Danger is like “WOOOAH I’m awake now.”- Timeout for a second. Are they seriously called Jaegers? -Yeah-…So generic-Yup-And-It seriously means hunter in German- And Robby and Lauren are inside and they’re like shouting from inside they robot they’re like um they’re like “GYPSY DANGER WE HAVE SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU!” And then she’s like and then Gypsy Danger’s like “what?” And like they like like moving their arms around inside and whats happening its like controlling Gypsy Danger’s movements and so Gypsy Danger starts to like destroy the town as they’re trying to talk to them. And they’re like “Ok we need to stop moving!” And so like they have to be like dead like not moving. -They stop in the Robby stance.- Yeah, they stop in the Robby stance inside Gypsy Danger and Gypsy Danger’s like “what is it?” And they’re like “We need to know if you went to this field in the middle of Chattahoochee and destroyed it.” And so Gypsy Danger’s like “I dunno. I’ve destroyed a lot of fields. Um. Maybe in Chattahoochee I don’t remember. Maybe its gonna cost you to get this information.”- But Lauren loves Gypsy Danger too much to believe it-But then but then what happens if Lauren starts she remembers that she actually hates Pacific Rim and she like she like like she like wakes she gets woke she’s like “GYPSY DANGER I HATE YOU! I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!” And Robby’s like “No No No We need Gypsy Danger for this! Stay in your position Lauren!” Shes like “NO! I’m getting out of here I hate Pacific Rim!” And she like gets out of the robot and like like Gypsy Danger starts falling after Lauren gets out. It starts falling and like Robby’s inside I don’t know where I’m going with this And like Gypsy Dangers like falling and Robbys like in there and they like fall to the ground and like Robby’s like “UH!”And then and then what happens is Gypsy Danger dies. And then you just hear Lauren like “YES!!” And then Robby’s like … And Robby gets out and he’s like “Lauren what have you done?! Now we’ll never know if Gypsy Danger’s the one that did it!-Just assume Gypsy Danger was the one that did it it probably was-They decide to look through Gypsy Danger’s files as corrupted as they may be- So they go through Gypsy Danger’s movement files and they like find like her location within the last month or whatever and they find that she- They find Gypsy Danger has been in the Oscar Hall this time- And like Lauren destroys the computer in anger she’s like “I hate that what the fuck!?” she actually swears and Lauren’s like “#$%#&@%$#%”-Wait would Pacifc Rim be the one thing that would get you to swear?-No-NO?-And then.. And then so what happens is and Robby’s like “Ok, so we know Gypsy Danger wasn’t the one in the field”-And Robby insists its not Iron Giant- And no hes like “Next is Iron Giant”-NAHHHH-NAHHHHHH- So he no he finds Iron Giant because he knows his Iron Giant-Meanwhile in uh Antarctica still rebuilding himself- And uh YEAH he like finds Iron Giant’s head and he’s like “IRON GIANT”-“I’M A HUGE FAN CAN YOU SIGN THIS?”- And like Lauren’s tagging along though and she’s like and he’s like he’s like “Iron Giant I need your help. See, its really complicated but I had this video called Cardboard 2 Fight and all of a sudden I noticed that it like I died in the video because of this giant explosion that I have no idea what and now I’M starting to disappear too cuz like this time loop whatever thing and I thought it might have been uh this Pacific Rim robot but it wasn’t cuz I looked through her files-“ And then all of a sudden Lauren’s just like “EWW this is uh,this looks like, this looks too much like a Pacific Rim robot!” And she crushes Iron Giant’s head. –Nooooo!Noooo!- And Robby just looks down just like this *looks down with stunned expression*- WAR!-And then Robby turned into the memester and kills me- Yeah yeah and then Robby’s just like “Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.” And like takes out his cardboard tube and just like whacks Lauren-No and Lauren’s like the children in Revenge of the Sith Robby what are we gonna do?- It just cuts to like Lauren’s head is on the ground, decapitated head. And so now Robby’s like “I’ll never know if it was Iron Giant or not but I’m gonna have to keep looking.” So he goes to- No No he needs to stay like a few months to- No no he can’t take months hes disappearing!- Noo but he can’t just abandon his Iron Giant!-Ok ok yeah he’s like “I have to continue my mission but first I must have a funeral for Iron Giant.” So he picks up the like head of Iron Giant that’s been crushed-He’s just like cradling it- 50 times his size- But whats the problems is that his hand is like disappearing so he can only hold it with one hand.- But he does it for Iron Giant-He’s like trying to hold it and slowly his arm disappears and all of a sudden it like falls- yeah yeah yeah- like rolls down a hill- And so he like he spends he spends cuz and he’s like he’s like in like Argentina or whatever so he’s like he has to get back home so it takes him months to get back home so by the time he gets back home what happens is almost all of his leg is gone cuz he’s disappearing you know almost all of his leg is gone- Is he hopping or does he have a prosthetic?- He’s hopping and his arm is gone too so his left arm and his right arm are gone he’s basically Anakin at this point and so he’s like walking and he’s like “I gotta have my funeral for Iron Giant.” So he has his funeral. And then after that he like he has like a he gives a eulogy he’s like “Iron Giant was an amazing robot”-He invites Brad Bird to the funeral- He invited Brad Bird but he doesn’t show up though so he kills Brad Bird. YOU have disgraced Iron Giant.- The Iron Giant Code- So what happens is- But Robby didn’t notice that Hogarth was in the audience and he was older. –Ohh-So what happens wait what oh my God- So what happens is uh is uh Brad Bird’s friends have like a vendetta against Robby now. This is going to make is more complicated. And Robby’s like “Whatever! I need to find.. what his name?-I’m not gonna tell you anymore!-Liberty Prime!-um um Freedom Megatron so he’s like I have to find Liberty Prime!” So he’s like hopping and he’s like-he hops all the ways back- wait is this from a game or something?- Its from fallout 4- So he like he like um he find Liberty Prime and he’s like “Liberty Priiiiime.” And Liberty Prime crushes Robby.-Aww-COMMUNIST TARGET DESTROYED.- BUT THEN I GOT THIS, but then Brad Bird’s army who wanted to destroy Robby decides that Liberty Prime has dishonored them by killing the victim they wanted to destroy- YEAH- So then THEY fight Liberty Prime!-OH MY GOD AND THEN OK So they fight Liberty Prime and these people just happen to be like time travel masters and they what they do as revenge they’re like “We’re gonna take Iron Giant and put him 50 years in the past!”… or something.. which would, nevermind And they’re like “GET THE TIME MACHINE!” And and uh the robot’s getting ready to like blow them up.-He throws his football the size of the nuke- So the robot’s getting ready to like blow them up and um so what happens is they like they put him in the time machine, he’s about to blow them up, he gets in the time machine, but they mess up and they transport him to the field a month before this happened where they’re doing Cardboard 2 Fight. And he explodes everything bringing it all back to the beginning of the story when he when they when he exploded Robby
(Note: at this point things go very wrong with the complexities of time travel and whatnot)
- So so they’re stuck in a time loop?- Yeah. So- So its like the podcast stuck in an infinite time loop- So and then Robby in this back in where he got crushed he like re-appears but hes hes he hes almost about to like disappear and he’s disintegrating- No. But then Robby comes in and he’s like in Doctor Strange, have you guys seen that? Liberty Prime, I’ve come to make a deal!- But wait Liberty Prime is out of this, he already has been time travelled- No but like it’s a it’s a time paradox cuz Liberty Prime goes back to where like-OH YOU’RE RIGHT wait… but no like- It’s a time paradox!- Oh you’re right oh my God. So there’s like a billion like, its like before Robby got crushed theres like a billion time travel machines coming in at once- yeah- and like they all come out and Robby like gets crushed like a billion times, oh my God- And then Brad Bird’s army is just sitting there with their popcorn watching Robby get killed a billion times- And then a billion Robbys sit there, all disintegrating, and then he dies. The End.